...I started feeling that special urge to do something! Anything! The bravery built up in me as I inched closer to the edge of the harbor. I had to do this before it was too late! It was necessary! So I slid even farther…
And let myself fall.
My stomach lurched. For countless seconds, I hung in midair, ready to climb back up. And then it came. Like cold cement, I slapped through the cool water. My eyes burned and I shut them as fast as I could. My skin shriveled. It was so cold!! I felt as numb as stone and for seconds, I could not move. I was sure my body was swept away when I fell and all was left was my lifeless spirit. The energy was gone and I could not feel my legs. My mind was frozen in great confusion until it finally snapped back to reality...
Hi Rachel. Good writing! If you can get it, you should buy Mark Tredinnick's book called "Writing Well." ---Pastor Weber
ReplyDeleteHey Rachel
ReplyDeleteI thought that was really good. I really liked it.
Very very good writing!!! nice descriptive and intricate word choices!! cant wait to see the published book!!! :) -Amber
ReplyDeleteYes, like it. Great sensory stuff.
ReplyDelete